SOMETIMES BEING A FATHER IS GIVING EVERYTHING YOU NEVER GOT
Every man suffers from a “father wound.” Our wounding may have come at the hands of a distant father who we never felt close to or it may have come at the hands of a highly critical father who we could never please. Some of us where physically abused by our fathers while some of us lost our father’s to a terrible illness, to combat, in an accident or because of an act of violence. One thing is for certain, few of us where raised with a father who took the time to become more conscious and aware of his short comings as a father and correct them. This creates a wound too.
The greatest gift we can give our children is to become more aware and more conscious of the kind of father we would like to be. A brilliant family therapist, Virginia Satir, used the idea that each child in a family has a self-esteem pot. That pot is either being filled up with healthy and nurturing experiences that increase his or her self-esteem or filled with damaging and toxic experiences that damage a child’s self-esteem. We encourage you to ask yourself the following question, “What am I pouring into my child’s self-esteem pot?” Most men don’t realize that healthy and nurturing things are more than giving your child positive feedback: positive feedback is fine if it is balanced with taking the time to really get to know your child, see their true essence, and celebrate their existence.