Separation can be a serious threat to a relationship if we view separation as a bad thing. But it isn’t. Separation is a dimension of togetherness and not a disruption of it.

When a man retires to his man cave, we hear things like, “Doesn’t he love me anymore?” or “If he loved me, he wouldn’t want to do anything without me.” Have you heard yourself say something like this or thought something like this. If you have then you have fused love and dependency.

If you want to be closer to your man, and he retires to his man cave, support him in his need to separate and soothe yourself. Encourage him to take all the time he needs. Understand that he needs to separate because he needs to, not because he doesn’t love you or doesn’t want to be with you. The less personal you take his need to separate, the more you can understand him and see him as he is, and not as you need him to be.